Brother and sister unite after 46 years

--Photo by KEITH KINNAIRD Priscilla Nelson and Richard White.

At the age of 4, Priscilla Nelson learned she was adopted thanks to a neighborhood kid with a big mouth.

Her adoptive parents confirmed the revelation, but its impact didn't sink in right away.

"I was just too young to really understand," Nelson recalls. "I said, 'OK.'"

But over the following couple of years, the questions piled up in her mind and the sense that something was missing expanded. She loved her parents and the older sister she grew up with, but she still longed to see her face in the face of another -- the crease of a mouth, the pinch of a brow or the profile of a chin.

"Not having somebody I looked like really bothered me," said Nelson.

Her parents encouraged her to seek out her biological mother when she turned 18, if nothing else to find out her medical history. Curiosity overcame apprehension in her mid-20s and she began seeking the puzzle pieces to complete the picture of who she is.

Telephone book listings provided leads, but no connections. Years passed and Nelson moved from the Los Angles area to Sandpoint, hopeful that the migration would heal a faltering marriage. It didn't, but Nelson couldn't lose the feeling that the move meant good things were on the horizon.

Nelson's feeling was confirmed upon meeting her current husband, Guy. But she had no idea what else would transpire.

It started with Nancy Johnson, a judge's secretary at the Bonner County Courthouse, where Nelson was working as a deputy clerk. Johnson, a genealogy enthusiast, found the contact which completed the circuit in 2001.

Nelson was elated and confidently composed correspondence with the expectation of a reunion, but she wound up with another crater to traverse. Her advances were summarily rebuffed in the interest of maintaining the cloak of the past.

"I didn't even think she would reject me. It didn't even enter my mind," Nelson said. "I was never more hurt in my whole life."

Nelson, 51, was devastated, but hoped time would erode any defensive barriers. She continued to reach out with Christmas cards and photos. They came back to Nelson stamped "Return to Sender."

Nelson, now the county's drug court coordinator, filed the feelings under "What Could Have Been." Then Barbie Aney came to town and urged her to re-open the drawer. Aney, who works down the hall from Nelson as a deputy clerk for the county commission, had a feeling Nelson's story had additional chapters.

Aney's Internet sleuthing confirmed the intuition.

Richard White posted a notice on the Classmates.com Web site for a 30th high school reunion on July 19. The same day he received an e-mail from Aney through the site at his home in Albuquerque, N.M. Aney's message was seeking confirmation of personal information, such as the name of his birth parents and questions about siblings.

White, 46, sent a salty reply, figuring Aney was an Internet scam artist. He also called his mom and dropped a bomb by asking if he had a sister. His mother was vague, but ultimately said, 'no.'

But White's mother called back and confessed he did indeed have a sister.

"She dropped the bomb back on me," said White.

Aney was mortified her e-mail had backfired badly, but White sent an apologetic follow-up reply and arrangements were made for a telephonic reunion between to two long-lost siblings.

"It's probably the most rewarding thing I've done in my life because I felt I did something really important for somebody else," said Aney, who is finding her calling connecting people.

Nelson and White first heard each other's voices on July 21. Nelson said her nerves jangle and heart palpitates each time she relives the moment.

"I called his cell and said, 'Hello, this is your sister,' and we both just cried," said Nelson, who also tears up when recounting that first phone call.

They have stayed in daily contact ever since and a bond formed as though it had always been there. They found their pattern of thinking and speaking quite similar. Ditto work habits and food preferences. They even finish each other's sentences as though they were twins.

White and Nelson met face-to-face for the first time on Aug. 15.

"Yes, I cried. It was just very warm. I had a mini meltdown and gave him a big hug," said Nelson, who always wanted a brother.

White, a principal at a surveying firm, marvels at the chance aspects of connecting with his sister.

"If I hadn't been on that particular Web site ..." he said, with Nelson quickly adding, "... you would have missed the whole show."

White's wife, Courtney, said the physical resemblance is obvious, but the most striking similarity between the two are their hearts. She is thrilled White and Nelson connected.

"Now we have this whole other family," Courtney said.

Nelson and White have now taken to encouraging others who have questions about their parents and siblings to seek answers.

"It can really prove to be a boon in their life," said Nelson.