Live your own life and ignore any comparisons to others

Print Article

Years ago when I interviewed Ralph Waite, the actor who played the father on the popular televison series “The Waltons”, he said he was often approached in public places by people saying, “You are the father I always wanted.”

I was reminded of this when I watched Meghan McCain’s impressive eulogy of her father, U.S. Sen. John McCain, this past weekend. There was no doubt she got the father she wanted. She could not praise him enough — highlighting the love and loyalty and strength he gave his family.

Looking at the solemn faces in the crowd I wondered if they were perhaps thinking of their own parenting. Where they fell in the measure of Meghan McCain’s remembrance of her father. What would their children say of them?

I was feeling like, “Whoa, my kids couldn’t say all that good stuff about me.” Comparison is a trap we set for ourselves. When a disciple of Jesus once questioned Him about another among the group — what about this man, they asked — Jesus rebuked him, “What is that to you? Follow me.”

I decided to look further into the life of John McCain. And once again found the comparison sham is just that. McCain came home from his POW nightmare in Vietnam to a changed wife — his first wife. She had been severely injured in a car accident he knew nothing about, had undergone months of rehab, and come out of it with impairment in her ability to walk. Ulltimately he left this family, which included three children. His former wife, who never remarried, says of him, “He wanted to be young again.” He married a woman nearly 20 years his junior to whom he stayed wed for close to 40 years and with whom he created a new family.

Sen. McCain met the extreme pressures of Vietnam, but the relational challenges within his first family were too much. This isn’t reason for me to say, “OK, so he’s not really all his daughter eulogized.” As if bringing him down somehow lifts me up.

None of us does everything right. That’s why the Bible audaciously claims humankind needs a Savior. John McCain was, in her eyes, all his daughter passionately declared. I believe that. I respect that. I am happy for her to have known the gift of such a father.

But my eyes are open. My life, with all its failures and successes, is meant to be lived by me. I don’t need to measure it against any other person. Because they aren’t perfect, either.

Print Article

Read More Columns

Won’t you join in the ‘Neighbor’-hood arts fun?

September 20, 2018 at 5:00 am | Bonner County Daily Bee SANDPOINT – Keepin’ the intro tight, as the calendar is packed with action this week. Do not miss the wonderful ‘Won’t You Be My Neighbor?’ film this week at the Panida – it is so excellent. Randy M...

Comments

Read More

Breads serve as special meal enhancers

September 20, 2018 at 5:00 am | Bonner County Daily Bee Today’s illustration features a great tasty crunch for most any casual supper. Hint: The choice of cheese makes all the difference; slices of Mozzarella offers a Greek touch, whereas cheddar, gouda ...

Comments

Read More

Your vote is your voice, so speak up!

September 20, 2018 at 5:00 am | Bonner County Daily Bee I know many older adults who honestly feel they aren’t heard, aren’t listened to. That can feed a deeper sense of having nothing of value to offer anyone anymore. To which I respectfully say: phooey!...

Comments

Read More

Bonner County History - Sept. 20, 2018

September 20, 2018 at 5:00 am | Bonner County Daily Bee From the archives of the Bonner County History Museum 611 S. Ella Ave., Sandpoint, ID 83864 208-263-2344 50 Years Ago Sandpoint News-Bulletin Sept. 20, 1968 — DREDGING OPERATIONS Dredging i...

Comments

Read More

Contact Us

(208) 263-9534
PO Box 159
Sandpoint, ID 83864

©2018 Bonner County Daily Bee Terms of Use Privacy Policy
X