When we are in need of inner healing

Before I started working in a church, I had a lot of ideas what it would be like. There was one problem. Most of the ideas were wrong. People often call because they are hurting. When they come to see us, we are invited into their life and their pain.

Each day of the first three days of this week I was contacted by people in the community regarding someone suffering from abuse. Our society is going down a path rejecting the moral underpinnings that have held our society and nation together. There has been an uptick in abuse, addictions, and crime in general. Physical and sexual abuse are a crime, and both are biblically serious wrongs. The harm done to the victims is great.

Some abusers use words rather than physical or sexual means. While they can’t get arrested for it, the damage done is just as grievous and just as evil.

Denial in the form of saying you didn’t really do that on the part of the abuser and that it didn’t really hurt on the part of the abused won’t help. Passing the blame by saying things like, “If you weren’t like whatever then I wouldn’t hurt you” doesn’t fix the problem. Suppressing it by trying to ignore it only extends the suffering. Making excuses for the abuser is to take part with them in the harm.

Hurting people hurt others. Abusers were typically abused in some way themselves. This curse becomes generational handed down from one generation to the next and passed from one spouse to another. One can see the trend in children. Abused children often abuse small animals or are bullies at school.

There is a way to break this cycle. There is help and healing for both victims and perpetrators. Admitting there is a problem is the first step. Next is seeing someone to get help. Make an appointment to see a counselor or pastor. Consider joining a faith-based recovery program such as Celebrate Recovery.

Did you know approximately 70% of participants in Celebrate Recovery nationally came for things other than a drug or alcohol program? Celebrate Recovery offers help and healing for those who are abused and for those who found themselves in the cycle of abused becoming abuser.

There is a weekly open meeting on Friday nights at the Nazarene Church on U.S. 95 north of the stoplight at Schweitzer Cutoff Road and there is a weekly open meeting on Thursday nights at the Limitless Church Outpost in Bonners Ferry. Details are available online. Search for Celebrate Recovery Sandpoint or Bonners Ferry. The weekly open meeting is a doorway to joining a small group step study where deep healing and wholeness take place. Step studies are also available through North Summit Church and soon other congregations.

Don’t wait. Delay only equates to extending the pain and suffering.

Bud McConnaughey serves on the staff of North Summit Church, 201 N. Division, Sandpoint.