‘Got any tips?’ - Aging while young

Her question caught me by surprise. The young-adult dental hygienist was cleaning my teeth. She had asked what I did, so I mentioned the column writing on aging I write. So, I asked her: “Do you realize you’re aging even now?” Her casually flippant comeback: “Got any tips?” But I sensed her question was more substantial.


My somewhat ageist perception of young adults is they think more about here-and-now, and let tomorrow take care of itself. As true or untrue as that might be, I find it unusual for anyone of almost any age to consciously wonder about how to grow older in healthy ways. 
Still, I do have a few tips for aging to share with my young hygienist friend. Some are more hands-on practical; and others are centered on life-attitudes. All serve us well. All are important in their own times as we age. This list is in no particular order of importance. Except your order!

• Take your previous ages with you as you get older.

• Decide to not age alone.

• Take your life-curiosity with you every step of the way. Learn something new every month you live.

• Bring significant memories of your past into your today, so they can teach your future.

• Cultivate a courageous honesty about who you are, and find someone to trust with that honesty.

• Remember that every day you live is part of your legacy for those who love you.

• Walk ankle-deep in the river denial if you must, but never swim there.

• Begin to talk with people you trust about how you want to prepare for end-of-life.

• Pay attention to when your body tells you to take care of it.

• Your body and mind are more fragile than you admit. Don’t take them for granted!

• Look for some form of balance in your life every day.

Consider this year as a training year for your next year, then honor it on your birthday.

As you show “signs of aging”, remember that gray hair and wrinkles are not a fashion statement — they are a values statement.

These “tips” are only a sample of the many tips available to us, regardless of our calendar-ages. Each tip has many stories lurking behind and beneath the words. Many of those stories are yours.

Some people know I’m a determined champion of Geezerhood. So, here's my pitch to my new young adult friend. “Geezer” comes from an old English word meaning “disguise. In my view, a geezer is someone with a hopeful, young attitude about life who lives in a disguise of gray hair and wrinkles.

I don’t know how young a person can be to start geezer-training. But I do know for myself, and many others I know, that being a geezer-in-training doesn’t stop.

Ideally, that training isn’t just for us alone. It is also for those who love us, those who watch us train for tomorrow and how ever many tomorrows we have left.

Aging is a natural process. How we age isn’t always up to us. But we can have a significant impact on how we age. Let’s get to it, regardless of how old we are today!

Paul Graves, M.Div., is Lead Geezer-in-Training for Elder Advocates, a consulting ministry on aging issues. Contact Paul at 208-610-4971 or elderadvocates@nctv.com.